Everyone talks about getting over trauma and PTSD. Obviously It’s not good to have all this baggage, But what exact behaviors do adults exhibit when suffering from trauma? (I.E. low self esteem from critical parents)
Edit: Follow up question, why are people who suffer from trauma more likely to develop drug addictions?
In: Biology
I’m going to come at this from a more biological perspective that I hope could be interesting.
First, trauma and stress during childhood can affect many systems that affect: mood and attention regulation, stress reactions, aggression suppression, empathy etc. I can also cause some unhealthy models of other people and especially abusive parents can cause even the adult brain to have twisted values and ideas of how to treat others. A study of convicts in the US shows an alarming majority that had some form of abuse in their childhood.
When looking at habits, there is interesting research being done. One paper I read recently talk about the connection between Corstisol and decision making. When we are stressed (and childhood trauma can lead to chronic stress), our body releases cortisol. Cortisol can work like a switch for our brains to become less long-term goal oriented, and rely more on habits. One test that was done was on rats that where chemically stressed (by inducing a cortisol-similar substance). These rats were given a reward (food) when pulling a lever. Unstressed rats started pulling the lever much slower as they were getting full. But stressed rats kept pulling and eating for much longer at a higher rate, even as they got full. This is a normal test for seeing if rats are goal oriented or mechanically acting out of habit. Same has been shown in humans. Habit-controlled behaviour is one of the reasons we get addicted. Combined with an increase likelihood of trying drugs to numb bad feelings, and you have a lot of addiction.
Hope this makes sense!
I think that you might not experienced childhood Ptsd until further in life when you are going to be confronted to an stressfull event or multiple events….then you going to have to figure out why you might have developed a toxic coping/defence mechanism.
For some people i guess coping with drugs alcohol to numb themselves inconsiouly from the present situation but it’s more due to further back trauma. Prone to Addiction these persons are because sometimes you just can’t figure out on your own that ‘the right now ‘ isn’t the problem,
But past trauma induced mechanism is the core problem of you abuse/addiction.
First step is to cut that shit off, then start to workout on the ptsd…some wait a long time before taking action because we all have to work, house, pay bills, take care of your friends and family.
Hope it helps ✌
You’ve drawn a connection to the two in your mind, so for you, yes, how you are mentally digesting others perceptions of you is partially influenced by how your parents raised you and the things your father told you. I believe it influenced you deeply, affects you now, and will likely be a lifelong struggle for you to overcome.
I’d caveat that by saying—as someone who was raised by good-intentioned parents who still did a not-great job on certain fronts—-they likely had no ill intentions. (Keep in mind you’ve given me very little to work with, so that statement is an off-the cuff.) There are a lot of well-meaning people in the world who become parents with little thought to what that means, or without meaning to become parents at all. Some people don’t put a great deal of thought into how their words and actions will affect impressionable developing humans. Sometimes parents are going through a hard, hard time themselves and are barely keeping their head above water. I’ve seen good parenting take a back-seat when survival and/or desperation are in the front-seat. So maybe your parents are terrible flat-out, or maybe they’re selfish and not working hard to parent you, or maybe they have good intentions but still aren’t hitting the mark. There’s a million other varieties of what could be going on as well. The thing your Dad told you speaks volumes about his personal issues, how he’s handling them, and a lack of empathy/carelessness/misguided motives that he would say it to you.
If the childhood trauma is what is causing your feelings of un-acceptance, the good news is you have a lot of time to correct and improve yourself. You’re sixteen. I left home at eighteen; broken, scared, alone, but determined. I also felt everyone disliked me and was against me. I still battle shades of it today. I’m 39 now, but very successful. I spoke very little with my parents for almost a decade. I had a great deal of feelings concerning how they parented me, the intentions behind their decisions, my perceptions of their selfishness. Around 37 years old a friend told me, “They had eighteen years to create what you were. You’ve had eighteen years since then to make whatever you wanted of yourself. You’ve done a good job. Accept that they are limited humans.” They were limited, I did accept it. I’m on friendly terms with them now, but I parent my own children very differently.
You’re almost of adult-age. You get to choose for the rest of your life what you will be, not them. Likely most people do not hate you at all. They are responding to what you’re putting out, or are completely oblivious—most people spend the majority of their day thinking about themselves.
Focus on what you’ll become, not what they made you.
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