the difference between being shy, introvert, antisocial, asocial and having social anxiety
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Briefly, what they have in common: each manifests in the company of others.
Shyness is a behaviour, arguably in one’s control, with a tendency/predisposition to draw attention away from oneself.
Social anxiety is a disorder, classified in the DSM V, arguably not in one’s control, characterized by certain avoidance of behaviours (any of: public speaking, initiating conversation, a performance of any kind, etc.) with the fear/anxiety out of proportion to the actual threat, causing such situations to be endured with severe anxiety (e.g. sweating, shortness of breath, tunnel vision, crying, freezing etc.) or avoided altogether. The symptoms must be present for min. 6 months, and MUST interfere with one’s function.
Those would be the two extremes, in my view. Introversion is best understood as the preference/tendency to restore of one’s energy with internal “rechargers” (self-defined) rather than external stimuli. The focus is on *preference*. It should not have physical/psychological manifestations, which would then move it into the category of “disorder.”
Asocial and antisocial are interesting. Linguistic connoisseurs will recognize the difference between the prefixes “a-” and “anti-“. “A” means without socialization, or an avoidance thereof, and can be used to describe someone (or oneself) who does not wish to engage socially with others.However, the word we often reach for instead is “antisocial.” You’ve heard it. You’ve used it. But “anti-” means against, that is, *against* society. Against societal norms, customs, and expectations. We use this word to mean “I don’t feel like talking to anyone right now,” but antisocial more accurately describes sociopathic behaviour, and is found centrally in another DSM V disorder – Antisocial Personality Disorder – which is characterized by disregard for the welfare of others, lack of empathy, unfettered violation of rules and laws, etc. Which most people aren’t, but unfortunately some powerful people are…
According to the DSM 5 – not much.
I’m pretty sure most of those are categorized under generalized anxiety disorders (except antisocial). When it comes to mental health most illnesses fall somewhere on a spectrum, for example – being shy is on the lighter end of the spectrum and social anxiety would be on the opposite end of the same spectrum.
A person who is shy would like to join in. (Really wants to join in, but is embarrassed/anxious/nervous/uncomfortable)
A person who is an introvert wants to go home. (Prefers to spend time alone, can’t relax easily in public, needs to “recharge his batteries” by himself. Still comes to the party because that’s where his friends are)
A person who is antisocial is about to loudly declare he hates all of you, and if the circumstances were lined up correctly, he would probably kill all of you if he was sure he could get away with it. (Disregards others emotions, thoughts, desires, and needs. Often unable to tell right from wrong)
A person who is asocial was invited, but declined to RSVP. (Avoids social interactions because he prefers solitude)
A person who has social anxiety showed up, but is too anxious to join the fun, and has spent most of their visit playing with your cat and only talking to you. Or they may have canceled last minute for the 12th time that month. (Totally cool with showing up and being present, but has difficulty with social interactions, especially in groups. Often alright with one-on-one interactions.)
I am a very un-shy introvert. One of those people about whom people say, “You? Uh-uh, no way,” when I say I’m introverted.
For me, introversion looks like this: While I have no problem socializing, going to parties, speaking in front of large groups of people, and generally being gregarious, I am not energized by any of those things, but rather, drained. While I enjoy the social stuff, I find myself craving quiet and solitude following social interactions of that type. If I don’t get it, I will remain drained and begin to avoid socializing until I am able to “recharge.” Some people may be emotionally “flying high” after a big party with lots of friends, and already thinking ahead to when they will go to another one (my extroverted husband!), whereas I will require a few days of hermit-like downtime before another party sounds even remotely appealing – even though I had a great time and really enjoyed it.
I feel happiest and most at peace when engaged in quiet pursuits (reading, writing, art, watching a movie at home, chatting with a very small group of close friends, walking the dog), rather than more social pursuits. I am my best self when I have ample time to be alone regularly.
I’m only rarely bored when left alone. I only said “rarely” because it seems extreme to say “never,” but I really meant never. I cannot remember a time ever in my life when I was bored by myself or doing my own thing. I find other people and socializing with other people boring on the reg, though 😉
Shy is when a person gets nervous on certain interaction.
Introvert is more of a mentality trait where one invokes inner self to make certain decisions. Introversion is explained well in a book called Quiet.
Antisocial is when a person doesn’t want to be social. It’s more of a mood that’s fleeting.
Asocial is when a person is against the idea of being social. Think hermit.
Social anxiety is when a person is nervous about social interaction wit other people.
A person might not be shy about being in front of everybody on a spotlight but a person may have social anxiety on talking 101 with another person.
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